Back again!!!

Hello everyone!

I have not posted an entry in this blog for over 2 years. A friend of mine (Nauman Khan) popped up on facebook chat and was like..

"Harry, can I delete the link to your blog as you haven't updated it in like 2 years....."

and I was like....... =O ZOMG!!!

I remembered that I had a blog! so Now I am enticed to re-post so much stuff back into it....sooo much has happened.

Well, for the most part, I have been lost in the World of Warcraft, Religious research and delving into so called "conspiricy theories" so I can better understand the strange world and times that we live in. I guess being a Muslim in a foreign country that is not majorly Muslim opened my mind and eyes to soo many things that I took for granted when I was in Pakistan.

Aaaahhhh but I sooo miss my Life in Pakistan now. Especially since my last visit to my country of origin in November to December 2009. I was only there for about a month but this time, a few things were different...

Finally moved into the renovated main portion of our house

We had finally renovated the main portion of our house so that WE can finally live comfortably in our own house. In all my previous visits to Pakistan and to Lahore, I normally stayed in the upper portion of our house while we had rented out the main portion of our house to some family.

In hind sight, living in that upper portion of our house is akin to living in an apartment here in Australia. It was small, self sufficient and I lived a pretty isolated life unless a friend would drop by or I would visit one of my many relatives.

However, moving into the renovated main portion was a breath of fresh air. I had forgotten how big and "lavish" houses in Pakistan normally are. The tall roofs, the giant beds and bed rooms, the long curtains, the marble floor, the "giant" living room with various rugs, portraits, plants, and various other decorative pieces. Even the distant sound of the hustle and bustle coming from Defence Road behind our house brought back fond memories.

People tell me that a special attachment is created between a man and the place he is brought up.

I disagree.

I was brought up in the dry heat of Saudi Arabia where I spent 14 years of my childhood as an "x-patriot" or an "immigrant". In that entire time, we moved around and stayed around people from Pakistan. In a nutt shell, the lack of friendlyness towards imigrants by the locals was the defining factor that prevented any sort of attachment from forming between me and Saudi Arabia. In the entire 14 years of my life there, and to this day, I felt like I was just a visitor, soon to be gone.

I Thank God for the good times I had each year when we would visit Pakistan. Coming to Pakistan from Saudi Arabia was ironically, like coming from a dark place into a bright and sunny place. Though a significant part of my younger life took place in Saudi Arabia, I was born in Lahore Pakistan, and I still have some vague memories of my youngest years. In Pakistan, I have never felt like a visitor, here, my family and their families and our grand fathers and great grand fathers lived and strove. There are a few things in life that we have no control over, like who our blood parents and siblings are, and which land we come from.

Coming into our home after a long and hard year was special for a number of reasons that November of 2009. It was my first visit after completing my studies and having worked full time for nearly a year. In other words, I was knee deep into the life of the west. It is a busy and fast paced life where you do soo much each day - from working office hours to going out to the city with friends or cooking a meal for dinner in the evening - yet each day I felt like I haven't done enough. The peace, quiet, and comfort of our home was like seeing a nice warm water bed after staying out and working in the cold for 2 days straight! Only I'm staying there for a whole month ;)

The stark contrast in life style

Life in Pakistan is very family oriented, something that I don't see too often here in Australia. My Uncles, Aunties, and grand parents are very close to each other and I always make it a point to visit each and every one of them as much as I can when I visit. Family can be a blessing or a curse from God, and I am grateful that mine is a blessing. Towards that end I try to enjoy the time I spend with them. I'm not a man who has a lot to say (verbally at least :p) . Most of the time you will find me sitting quietly contemplating things from the mundane to the strange by my self, but the mere physical presence of loved ones and close friends near by is comforting to me. Alot of my friends complain when I don't say much for sometime - mistakenly thinking that I'm getting bored. Most of the time I'm just enjoying the moment, capturing the sights, smells and sounds.

The pace of life is slower in Pakistan than it is here in Australia. It is a welcome change. In the day - during the blistering heat or extreme cold most people are either in their office or at home. The stores and malls normally open around 10-11am in the morning and stay open till late in the night. Most people I know would really start a "night out" after the Isha prayers or around 6 to 7pm. In contrast, stores normally close in Australia at 5pm sharp - if you need something on a week day, you gotta rush from your office to make it on time - and that's provided you leave a little early lol!

You know, I could talk all day about the many little things that got to me during that visit, but at the end of the day....
Its the people around me - People whom by the will and blessings of God were also destined to belong to this part of the earth. Its the dirty animals and donkeys carrying carts full of hay slowly making their way down a road. Its the smell of mud, dirt, shit, flowers, animals and grass that hits your nostrils when you walk down a busy street. It pleases and warms my heart.

There are those who find a home in lands other than the one where they were born or come from - and they love it just as much. Maybe in the end, it is true what some people say....

"Home is where the heart is"

I long to go back to Pakistan now. I have had this longing grow in me since my last visit.

The path to finding my religion (or the bumpy road to salvation - if Allah chooses to guide me)

Added to this has been my further dive into some religious research and my endeavor (small as it may be now) to further understand my religion and way of life as God prescribed it. As I mentioned before, I took so many things in our religion for granted while growing up in Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. Countries where one is safe to practice Islam and religious oppression is minuscule when compared to the likes of other fellow Muslims in Afghanistan, Lebanon, Palestine, Iraq, Bosnia, etc. Or the minor oppressions in countries like Australia, USA, UK, and Canada where there is no Azaan and the call to prayer is not recognized when working.

It was no mere coincidence that I stumbled onto a series that invoked an inner fire or zeal in me. It was 8pm on a Thursday night and I was talking to my Mother. She was telling me of a new series related to Islam that was sweeping Pakistan like wild fire. I have always had an interest in such theories and opinions so I quickly googled it.

I arrived at the Arrivals - which kept me on my seat till 8am the next day - and yes, I went straight to my office without having slept! The show does well to open the eyes and lingering doubts that have been nipping at me throughout my life; small fleeting thoughts that disappeared as soon as they piked my interest. However, being inherently cynical and normally withholding judgment till the very end, I did some more research and went to the source of many of the beliefs presented by the creators of the show. Creators whom I found were probably Shia's and in one clear episode clearly present their own religious opinion on these events to which I disagree to.

The search for the source lead me to Sheikh Imran Nazar Hosein. I have heard many lecturers in my time. I have heard many "Maulanas" come and literally fire up your heart with their sweet talk only to leave one full of doubts and confusion the more he delves deeper. Like they are clinging to some shred of faith, even though they are full of doubts, hoping that it would some how save them - this is so similar to the times of old when men followed what their ancestors followed - only because it would bring them some sort of spiritual comfort even though they were full of doubts!

Or like a beautiful women, who can lure you in like a dog by her looks and then leave you hanging with a giant bill to pay :P.

But what Sheikh Imran spoke of was a topic that has been on the back of my mind since my late teens. He spoke of the dire situation of the world today and the dire consequences and destination that it seems to be heading in. A topic few imams and scholars discuss. He spoke of Interest in a new light - I have always been told that Interest is Haram (forbidden my God)- but then I was also told that their are types of "Interest" that are allowed and I would see soo many people getting loans, car loans, house loans and what not. It was a jumbled mess. Very few scholars preach the complete annihilation of interest. Very few scholars speak of the history of interest and how it has (as our Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) prophesied), spread all over the world and literally enslaved man kind. He talked about Dajjaal (The Anti-Christ) in a way I had not heard of before. He related the word Dajaal to its literal meaning - The Deceivers - and likened it to all the deception that is around us in the media and the news. Before this, while in University as a young student, we would talk excitedly some times about the identity of Dajaal when it is quite possible that his work has been before our very eyes for all this time!

Like I said before, I am inherently cynical (Though I do always say - hope for the best and prepare for the worst! =P ) and this attribute of mine has always made me question simple and "convenient" answers to the problems of Islam. I have read on the system of Islamic Banking and how certain Muslims believe that certain very important parts of our religion had to be changed or "interpreted differently" in order for us to adapt and keep up with "The West". But I asked my self each and every time - But why were we sent here? To get ahead of "The West" or to fear Allah and obey and worship Allah? - Ask yourselves when you take out a loan or condemn the application of Islamic Law - what are you really afraid of? The loss of comfort or the will of Allah?

Though coming to Australia increased my knowledge in Islam - It has also furthered me from the Din of Allah as well. Lost in the struggle to gain promotions, higher wages, compete, making a living, it is soo easy to forget God and what is happening to Islam around you. I will admit that I have become lax in my prayers and this is a great fear of mine. In fact it is my biggest fear. It gnaws on me every chance that it gets - and I am at a point in my life where I must sacrifice some of one in order to maintain the other and it is an easy choice for me to make - In fact I have already made it and am currently striving towards it.

The big questions

So, the big question so often comes down to:

"Why are we here?"

"Why did I just spend 8 hours of my life working for someone?"

"People are dying! Why don't you DO something!?"

The questions above come to my mind like they come to the minds of many people - but like soo many people these thoughts are fleeting. They last for a few minutes or maybe an afternoon discussion with some friends. In my country - when people want to talk about politics, they make it the topic of the afternoon lunch or dinner and discuss the many problems of our country and how we can solve them - only to forget about the discussion and have another one at another lunch or dinner. I noticed that I and others that I have seen have tended to deal with the above questions in much the same manner. We discuss them and then get back to our "daily lives" and then when we don't have much else to do - we may discuss them again. We do it in the exact opposite way that we are supposed to do it. The answers to the above questions are far more important than our daily lives.

But here's the scary bit - even if you do realize the above, even if it dawns on us....do you think it will really change the way you do things? Do you think you'll say "yeah, it is true!" and then forget about it until the next afternoon tea discussion?

Please, don't tell me we should leave it to people who are more "capable" or who are "up there". I don't need to tell you how our politicians have performed in the last 100 years.

God said in the Quran in 7:176 al-A`raf - The Heights:

"If it had been Our will, We should have elevated him with Our signs; but he inclined to the earth, and followed his own vain desires. His similitude is that of a dog: if you attack him, he lolls out his tongue, or if you leave him alone, he (still) lolls out his tongue. That is the similitude of those who reject Our signs; So relate the story; perchance they may reflect."


This blog of mine has been dead for quite a while but I intend to re-post on it. Mostly things that I will post on my facebook account as well.

There will be funny stuff, videos of interest, lectures, etc.

May peace be on you,
Haris